Peeling back the onion.
On that walk up the spiral staircase in which we come back around but we are no longer in the same place.
At least that is what I have often thought each time I “purge and reorganize” around home. In my routine practice of “letting go to let come”, I have felt a sensation I was peeling back layers to get to the core.
And once I got to the core, there I would find what I hadn’t yet discovered.
“Yet” being the key word. For a part of my internal dance of grace between opposites has been gratitude for all the abundance in my life. For people including those with fur and cold noses. The ways I get to serve with my gifts of writing, coaching, and teaching. My body’s ability to run and hike. Nature. All that is my life.
And on the other side of the dance floor is my internal voice moving my feet to the lyrics “once you _________________, then”. Filling in the blank could be anything in which I have consciously and often unconsciously wired a communication to my dancing feet not yet, once you have gained enough knowledge, expertise, wisdom, experience. Once you discover.
I paused my recent “purge and reorganize” to spend time with family selecting their Christmas trees.
I observed the pine tree standing tall, its top and bottom branches of one side of its body shaped in a Charlie Brown tree perfection. (I’ve always loved the Christmas trees best that are imperfectly perfect like the Charlie Brown Peanuts cartoon tree.) I found myself drawn to this tree that had not given up flourishing, despite being shadowed for a time by the neighboring tree, evidenced by outstretched branches missing on the other side of its body.
I knew others didn’t see its beauty if they saw this tree at all. I thought it breathtaking. Regal. Adaptive. Resilient. Hopeful. Graceful.
I thought of the tree that had been next to it, imagining the person who thought it beautiful and “perfect” for adorning a home for the holidays. The tree now fulfilling the next phase of its purpose, to bring such things as Connectedness, Celebration, Joy, and Lasting Memories as people gather around its decorated beauty. Its purpose of bringing such things as shelter, a resting perch, and oxygen now fulfilled.
It could become the tree it was meant to be because of this magnificent “Charlie Brown” tree next to it who had grown exactly as it chose to grow. Who had chosen to grow.
I returned to my purging/ reorganizing mission thinking about the tree remaining and the story of the tree next to it, the story now revealed in a circle of rings.
I read long forgotten words in yearbooks and childhood letters. I uncovered pictures I no longer remembered once snapped by a camera as smiles looking at me offered the grace of gratitude and fond memories.
I discovered Already.
That the person in me who hears and sees the voices who struggle to believe their voices are worthy of being heard and that they are worthy of being seen was that person on the lower steps of the spiral staircase listening and seeing “then”, as I do now. That compassion, generosity, and kindness are not something I acquired further up the spiral staircase. That in the eyes of some, I was already partnering with Wisdom in how I saw and heard the world around me.
I discovered one of my first writings from many years ago, and immediately my inner whisper spoke the words from Elizabeth’s Gilbert’s “Eat, Love, Pray” book I thought about one of my favorite Sufi poems…which says…a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing right now. I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen.
A path wove through the field of wildflowers in a grassy knoll near the majestic oak tree.
The sun streamed through each vibrant colored leaf.
There was a soft breeze, and the sky a brilliant blue.
It is there, each gathered, each seeking truth.
One was young, cancer having taken her young life.
Another, a long full life, had left earth when his body stopped after he had lost his mind.
She didn’t survive the auto accident when her car lost control.
And he wants to know his family is okay; he imagines he hurt them when he took his own life to go.
A child with birth defects didn’t see age five.
And together dad and son sat, wondering how she would do since they didn’t survive.
The angel came into the center among them all…
-Christine Hassing
There is more to this writing, but I will save it for a different blueprint another day.
When we let go, we let come.
When we let go, of once then, we discover Already.
That as we move up the spiral staircase, we are also expanding our rings.
Maybe it isn’t so much peeling back the onion to reach a core but is to look at the core and marvel at the circling rings.
And to realize that no matter the size, the rings leave a footprint. The rings can provide shelter and sanctuary for life long after they have stopped expanding. Some rings will not expand because it is time for those surrounding them to expand into their own becoming. Some rings have planted seeds for the next generations who may one day bring joy in December to families.
From the moment it’s planted, a tree is already leaving an imprint on all its surroundings.
From the core ring outward and upward, each of us makes a difference.
Already.
P.S. I am honored to have my writings included with many wonderful women writers in an anthology titled, Mothers and Mentors: The Art of Nurturing, To read many inspirational and moving stories from a variety of authors, a copy can be purchased at this link. https://a.co/d/cpWxavy
