Hello dear readers,
I am writing to you while immersed in nature, watching cardinals soar from ground to limb and back down for the next bite of lunch. I’m listening to the tranquil sounds of songbirds while also listening to the chuckles and heckles of the crows as they display how they have no fear of heights while they hang- glide over treetops.
Nature. One of my happy places for sure! (smile)
A few months ago, when we had a severe thunder / windstorm move through the southwest corner of our state, the girls (aka Ginger and Kutana) and I discovered this fallen tree as one of the casualties of the fierce winds. In that dance of grace between opposites I periodically write about, a part of me felt saddened that such a regal giant that had taken decades to grow to its mighty stature found itself uprooted and now sprawled across earth’s floor.
The other part of me remembered a professor’s words to the effect that even when a branch of a tree has fallen to the ground and is decaying, the tree is still alive. His sentiment was that the nutrients from the decaying wood fuel the dirt and surrounding plants, that bugs and small critters can know it as home, that even though the branch has now broken away from the tree, it is still connected to the greater whole.
Still a tree of life.
As I stood beside this now fallen tree, I thought of the bridge it is, as it has always been. When it stood, it branched out in roots and in limbs, bridging air to soil, bridging to other nearby root systems, bridging for a squirrel’s quick run through the branches. As it lays, it will bridge. Soil to new growth, a dry scurrying path for critters when the ground is muddy, doubt to faith that even when a root system has broken from its anchor, the tree is still alive, connected to the greater whole.
May your next couple of weeks flow peacefully for you.
Namaste’
-Christine
The Creases Now Speak
Joshua
Joshua was surprised when Aunt L texted, she had visited grandpa and introduced him to Abby.
He felt his anxiousness rise while also admiring his aunt’s courage. He couldn’t help thinking it was one thing for his grandpa to accept his aunt’s same sex marriage. Quite another for his grandpa to accept Joshua had married someone black.
Joshua found Kaylen putting the finishing touches on their dinner – spinach salads, grilled salmon fillets, and roasted red potatoes seasoned with rosemary, thyme, garlic, and a touch of Himalayan salt. When Joshua told Kaylen that Aunt Laura introduced Abby and Edward, Kaylen looked up with a combination of curiosity and caution on her face.
“Aunt L said it went quite well, that Grandpa welcomed Abby into the family.”
“Wow, that’s great!”
“She thinks Grandpa is ready to meet you.”
Kaylen paused in the salad toss without looking up. Then she added in the sunflower seeds, sliced strawberries, and vinaigrette dressing, asking “what do you think?”
“I would like you and I to go together tomorrow for my weekly visit.”
“Do you think it will be too much for him? Abby today. Me tomorrow.”
“I think it is time I be brave.”
Joshua studied Kaylen’s face and body language, adding, “I have been a coward. You deserved more from me. I don’t want to miss any more days of Grandpa knowing the best part of my life.”
Joshua continued to observe Kaylen fussing with the salad, not looking up, attentively listening.
When Kaylen spoke, Joshua felt that familiar feeling. Just when he thought he couldn’t love her more, she would give him reason to feel his heart expand even further for the one person who made him feel whole.
“You have been brave since the day we meet and began falling in love. I know you kept me from your grandpa because you believed you were protecting me. That is what people do when they want only the best for each other. I look forward to meeting your grandfather tomorrow.”
The next day, just before 4:00 p.m., Joshua and Kaylen entered the assisted living center. Kaylen offered to wait in the lobby. Joshua hesitated, thinking that might be best, then decided he wanted Kaylen by his side when he greeted his grandpa.
When they got near Edward’s room, Joshua kissed Kaylen, expressed how much he loved her, squeezed her hand, and didn’t let go of it as he pulled her into the room with him.
“Hi Grandpa! How you doing today?” Joshua said in the best light-hearted voice he could muster through his nervousness.
Edward looked up, saw his grandson and a breathtakingly beautiful Black woman holding his grandson’s hand. An elegant woman with beautiful deep brown eyes. He had only seen eyes like that one other time in his life.
Joshua let go of Kaylen’s hand, placing his on her back as he gently nudged her forward with him towards Edward’s chair. “Grandpa, I have someone I would like you to meet. This is Kaylen. My wife.”
Joshua expected to feel Kaylen tense. He only felt calmness radiate from her poise. Kaylen took a step ahead of Joshua, extended her hand to Edward. “I am grateful to meet you.”
Joshua wasn’t sure if Edward’s silence and lack of extending his hand in return was a sign of his anger, his disappointment, or his shock.
It seemed like minutes that Kaylen’s had was extended before Edward tried to push his body up from the chair. Joshua hurried to his side about to insist Edward stay sitting when Edward rose out of the chair.
Edward looked into Kaylen’s face, extended his arms, and pulled her into a hug.
Edward released Kaylen from his bear hug, asking her “how long have you been the reason my grandson has been so happy every time he comes to visit me?”
Joshua sensed Kaylen didn’t want to answer. Later Kaylen would tell him it was because she feared hurting his grandpa when he learned they had kept this secret for nearly five years.
When Joshua answered, he saw Edward’s eyes shift briefly. Was it anger? Joshua wasn’t sure why he kept anticipating anger would erupt. He had never seen his grandpa angry. He had never witnessed his mom nor his grandma angry. Maybe it was in his genes, something his father had struggled with.
Edward sat back down in the chair and urged Kaylen and Joshua to pull up the folding chairs kept in the corner for visitors. Four hours later, Edward had shared one of his photo albums with Kaylen and she in turn had shared she was an OB/GYN, how her and Joshua had met, and that she was able to meet Patricia before her passing.
After the three of them ate the take-out dinner Joshua had picked up, Joshua spoke. “Grandpa, we should be going. We’ve kept you from resting long enough.
With tear-filled eyes, Edward asked Kaylen if she would be coming with Joshua next week. “You can come without my grandson anytime you want” he also told her.
When Joshua bent down to hug his grandpa goodbye, the only thing he could say through his own teary eyes was “thank you Grandpa.”
“No, my son. Thank you! Thank you for introducing me to your wife. I am glad you found your Patricia. I love you, Joshua.”
“I love you, too, Grandpa!”
When Joshua and Kaylen got to their car, Joshua began sobbing. Through his elation at how well it went was the knowing that his grandpa was soon going to die. In his relief was also sorrow and regret for the past five years that his grandpa and Kaylen didn’t know each other.
Kaylen, his mind-reading wife, reached for Joshua’s hand as she said “things cannot happen before they are meant to. What matters is love has now poured in.”
Joshua looked at his beautiful wife, whispering the words he adapted from her grandma’s song. “Perfect, my wife, perfect you are to me.”