42.3838° N, -85.95861° E
34°1’24.36″N, – 84°36’55.76″W
North (N): 0° = 360°, East (E): 90°, South (S): 180°, West (W): 270°
Hope Is
Inside
The Holes
Let me first say. I am grateful for YOU! Not because you are reading something I wrote, though I am most certainly grateful for that, too! I am grateful for YOU because YOU matter.
YOU matter.
(Repeated so that you can feel the truth of the words.)
YOU.
Matter.
Ok. (smile) Now to share about this month’s quest.
Let me begin with a story about one of our two girls with cold noses. Kutana. If you have been joining the quest for a bit now, you will already know that Kutana is full of joy. FULL! And full of determination. Translation, in the words of her trainer. Head strong. Because I believe so much in the power of words, I will not say the s word translation out loud. S. t.u.b.b.o.r.n. (Smile, laugh).
Like us humans who have amazing gifts that can simultaneously be our curses, Kutana has an amazing sense of smell. And. Kutana can smell the tiniest speck of a crumb. (Think of once how I had to vacuum out the floor register because the single kernel of dogfood that fell into the vent, nor longer visual to the eye, could still be smelled by dear Kutana and the register did not stand a chance of being left alone if the vacuum did not come to the rescue!) When Kutana’s sense of smell is added with her equal love of food and then multiplied by her fierce sense of determination, it equals her and I having repeated patterns of Kutana, no! and I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you, I hear you, but I can’t hear you.
One such repeated pattern is when I don’t immediately close the door that seals off Kutana’s food bin when I’m getting something out of the closet where it’s located. One to seize joyous opportunities, she rushes to the latch of the food bin to pop it open and get in at least one very large gulp before the. Yep. Kutana, no!
Now, the thing with Kutana is she is oh so very VERY smart. (Said not just because I’m proud fur momma, I promise!) She can be shown something once, twice tops. And she does not, and I do mean DOES NOT forget. Especially when to remember means she will experience even more joy in her already very naturally happy soul. Yet, sometimes, she seems to forget what she learned once or twice. Like an open door, a popped latch, and a very large gulp before she then chooses, I hear you and rushes away with one of her very joyous spins in a circle in a happy silly dance kind of way.
So, this month, on a particular morning of the quest, the door opened, my back turned, Kutana swooped in for her gulp, I responded, Kutana danced her circle, sat down, and our eyes locked. In that moment was the choice both her and I had in how we would respond. In that moment I had paused an extra moment to see and see again -and to hear at the additional levels we all have the ability to listen from besides our physical sense of sound – that I might choose not to be in autopilot with the same pattern.
She was waiting. Mom, am I about to hear how I know better? Hmmmmmm. Wait. Watcha doing mom? You are bending down towards me. You don’t usually bend down towards me. I’m going to have to investigate in that way you know I do. I’m going to need to sniff your nose to see what emotion you are feeling most.
(Yes, Kutana sniffs noses to gauge feelings.)
She sniffed my nose, and then Kutana made a choice to do something she had not done before. She bowed her head so that both of our foreheads could press together. We stayed that way for a few moments as that knowing place within me heard Mom, I just LOOOOOVVVEEEEEEE food so much and that latch is right there. RIGHT THERE! And well, I just get so excited! And once I know what I want, well. You know. I tune out all other distractions. Do you know how deeeeeee-licious it tastes what’s in that bin! And I know, I know I shouldn’t break in, and I know I get so overjoyed that I choke and that you have my best wellbeing in your heart when you tell me no. Here’s the thing mom, I will probably do it again. I don’t mean to, but I’m just saying, I will probably do it again.
One more nose sniff?
As she senses my internal laughter, my love, and a certain awe at our forehead touch and heart to heart exchange, her eyes get that dancing glint, her tail wags, and off she goes into the other room.
So, what does this story have to do with hope you might be asking?
I started out with this month’s quest writing that hope is
Inside
The holes.
Hope is. Inside. Each of us.
We find it by seeing and seeing again. By hearing and hearing again.
By listening deeper.
By listening beyond our mind’s thoughts. To our hearts. But not stopping there. By traveling yet further still to that inner whisper, that “gut”, that inner knowing place.
And by listening to our bodies.
And by listening to that which is bigger than us all.
I will use these words (physically, mentally, emotionally, intuitively, spiritually).
By connecting all of them together.
And then choosing.
Choosing how we respond with all that we are hearing.
I would like to share another story from this month’s quest with you. (I promise the story of Kutana will continue to make more sense why it was a stop on the quest map this month.)
As you know if you read a quest from a few months ago about my own healing journey, I am a very big believer that the body keeps the score of physical traumas and of emotional pain and that the body is the communicator of where one is in dis-harmony mind, body, and spirit. The body manifests in the form of ailments and dis-eases. I am a believer not only through credible sources of science and testimonial based evidence; I am a believer through my own testimony.
This month the truth of just how much the body keeps the score came through my own testimony.
I began to experience pain in my right tonsil only. I wasn’t experiencing any other symptoms, other than my right ear starting to not appreciate the pain in my tonsil. That inner knowing recognized immediately that the throat pain was related to a connection to voice and the element of either where I was struggling with voicing something or struggling with something I voiced that I wish I hadn’t. And, through my journey with my legs, I’ve also come to see the left side as the past and the right side as the future, so I also started pondering what about the “future” and “my voice” was I struggling with emotionally. My body was definitely trying to communicate.
My mind started to provide its opinion of what direction I should look in for the answer. (Mental component present? Check.) My heart was responding in support of my mind’s thoughts. Mostly. (Emotional component. Check). My heart was also listening intently to the inner whisper (Intuition, check) along with spiritual messages. (Spiritual component. Check) (And of course. Body. Check. Just ask the tonsil. Check). The additional messaging wasn’t contradicting the mind necessarily but was certainly speaking there is always more than initially seen.
On the journey of my body – my tonsil specifically – turning up the volume, I was listening to a speaker give a lecture on the topic of holistic healing who happened to mention in conversation about a time in her life she had mononucleosis. It caught my attention such that I began noting a memory in the notebook I was using as my lecture highlight recorder. Noting a memory of when I had mono as a teenager. My notes included how at the time of my illness, I wasn’t aware of how the mind, body, and soul were an integrated team in our health and wellbeing and I made a note “throat – voice”.
Fast forward to that night, and the dream state which has come to be another powerful time for me for receiving messages and clarity. And then to the next morning in my meditation. Pieces of the puzzle snapped together regarding my tonsil pain.
My body had been taking me back to held in grief that occurred prior to developing mono, which included symptoms of my tonsils swollen to the point they were touching, my mind having taken the lead to suppress the grief of moving from the home I knew up to that point, due to my parents’ divorce. The moments I had swallowed the emotional pain I was feeling and pushed down the tears. My body was trying to communicate to me when I developed mono. I didn’t connect the dots then. Now that my heart has openly entered the picture of my life so that I can thrive joyfully, hopefully, lovingly, healthily, my body is revisiting where the scores have been held so that I can completely let go of what I no longer need to carry around anymore.
In the moments of meditation I paused, I locked eyes with grief, and I then bent to touch the forehead of the teenager as I whispered to her, it is ok to cry. It is ok to grieve. And look at where we are now. Look at where we have reached on this spiral staircase of life. Thank you for how you responded then, for it is because of how you did that we are making our story matter as we go forward, forward healing the planet’s grief, pain, trauma, sorrow, and despair. Forward breaking generations of cycles of living with the heart’s emotions tucked away for the sake of surviving. Now we show the power of thriving when the heart co-leads.
Once I heard and seen the heart of the teenager that was once me, by that night my throat was barely soar, and by the next morning one would not know my tonsil had ever been communicating disharmony.
Kutana hasn’t tried to unlatch the bin, either, since our foreheads touched. I believe it was because at a deeper level, she had been heard and seen. I don’t believe she had buried grief of not getting more gulps down before “no” (smile). What she did teach, though, was the power of unconditional listening, and connecting from the heart.
I can’t help feeling that in all the tragic and horrific news and trends we hear is long buried grief, pain, trauma, sorrow, and despair erupting after a long volcanic dormancy. Emotional pain and grief have been held in far too long, and now they are beginning to spill forth, like hot lava cascading down mountains, decimating people, homes, communities, and what feels most of all like a burial of populations of spirits that were once vibrant with hope, faith, joy, and love.
I heard these words from a dear family member recently sharing wisdom “out of the mouth of babes” – i.e., from her soon to be sixteen-year-old granddaughter. When I lived abroad, I was popular for being kind; now that I live in the U.S., one is popular only if you are mean.
Hot lava cascading down. Hot lava from generations of pent-up emotional pain and grief.
When I wrote Hope Has a Cold Nose, I reframed P.T.S.D. as pain, trauma, sorrow, despair because one of these four elements, along with grief, is something that every one of us knows at least one element of at least once in our life. I haven’t had a chance to read Gabor Mate’s book yet “The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture”, but from an interview I listened to very recently, I believe he would say that every one of us know these elements in many ways in a lifetime. And he would say that it’s the “emotional disconnection from self” that is contributing greatly to the dis-harmony and dis-eases of humanity.
To use words of a very dear person in my life. Many holes. Grief, pain, trauma, sorrow, and despair create many holes within us. If we don’t have a healthy way of looking them in the eye, without judgment, with compassion, with dignity, with forgiveness, with hope, the holes will fester and expand and create caverns for suffering to reside. If we can walk beside grief, bravely let our hearts share in the journey, courageously link arms with such things as joy, faith, trust, and gratitude that Universally comprise life in the same space as suffering, we begin traveling up the spiral staircase gaining more wholeness within ourselves, which begets more wholeness collectively. When we choose a healthy way to look at our holes in the eye, we find purpose in making the holes matter. When we make it matter that the holes have happened, we move life forward not just surviving, but thriving. The grace in the journey of an integrated mental, physical, emotional, intuitive, spiritual self with all
That is.
To try to say the words of this very dear person as eloquently as she said. We are always giving from our holes on our journey towards whole.
Our holes can be our gifts.
If we choose to see.
If we want to change the world, we need hope.
To find hope
Is
Inside [us]
In
[How we choose to respond to] the holes.
What is Hope to you? I would love to read and hear your thoughts. I’d love to share them with others via email or on my web page(s). I welcome your handwritten messages or drawn pictures to the address below. Or feel free to email me (Christine@hopewhispers.net)
P.O. Box 327
Gobles, MI 49055
ATTN: Hope Is
.
42.3838° N, -85.95861° E
A Cold Nose
A most powerful video to watch!
N ° S ° E ° W °
Hope Whispers, Nature Speaks
For weekly inspiring videos, you can view/ follow them on Instagram and YouTube.
Below is a link to the two most recent videos. May one or both inspire your month ahead!
Which we feed. The essence of and for(warding) humanity.
Imperfectly perfect; embracing our holes on our way up to whole.
Attached is a flyer for upcoming workshops and courses I am teaching. Email me at Christine@hopewhispers.net! I’d love for you to attend! (Note: The May 15 date has flexibility to it. Contact me to discuss.)
And Between the Dash. Book three. Just a few more weeks! In the May quest I should have news to reveal about what next book will await your reading once complete! Stay tuned!
Namaste’ my dear readers. Namaste’
You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it is better to listen to what it has to say. Paulo Coehlo
Sincerely,
-Christine
P.S.
If you have enjoyed this month’s message, please pay it forward to others. They can also subscribe to future emails by visiting www.christinehassing.com. If you know of someone who has a Hope Is message to share, please encourage them to share via the post office address (or via email at Christine@hopewhipsers.net). I welcome sharing their input in a future Hope Is message!