“Willfulness must give way to willingness and surrender. Mastery must yield to mystery.” – Gerald May
It’s not the first time I’ve written about rushing to the sound of a bang against a window. Which prompts a rush to my shoes if the weather isn’t conducive to bare feet. Time could be saved if I didn’t stop to put foot protection on for the cold. Ah, but then I ponder, am I reaching for foot protection? Or am I responding with foot barriers?
What if I didn’t put on shoes or a coat to hurry outside to experience a miracle?
What if I felt the full sensation of the transition from a warm floor inside our home to the cold grass outside that is our larger dwelling we all inhabit? What if feeling the brisk wind more closely against my arms and chest without a thick layer of coat to resist offers the tiniest sensation of what it feels like to fly if I could?
What if I let go of my will to hear from my starting place and surrendered to the mystery of what the Universe was communicating when it sent this winged friend to the window March 30th?
Hawks have been a meaningful messenger for me for several years now. Ten, to be exact. It was a Hawk that “banged” its attention for me to listen when Roo (my running mate and one of two main characters in my memoir) and I rescued it after its road injury. Note, as the phrase goes, don’t try this at home; don’t pick up a dazed and near dying hawk and place it in your vehicle then drive home approximately ten miles away. Thankfully, Hawk listened to my intention it would be okay but waited until we got home before this winged friend shifted from dazed to ready to fly away!
I knew that day when I held out a lid filled with water for Hawk to drink that an integration was taking place between us. In my awe I knew something significant was occurring. I didn’t know that what was taking place was only a beginning. I didn’t know that in my compassion, trust, and hopefulness that Hawk would live, how I was fully showing up was gaining me a messenger, protector, and guide to navigate the mysteries in life’s design.
I was listening but hadn’t fully released my will to a willingness to be open and fully receive the moment. Even if it meant the moment was teaching me how to let go.
If you have read To the Moon and Back to Me (my memoir), you know how it was Hawk (and Owl) who visited to affirm my belief that death is not goodbye. Hawk would appear after I would ask for a sign that Roo was still beside me energetically. Hawk has taught me faith.
Over time, as my grief softened and my faith, trust, and listening abilities increased, I started to see Hawk appear at “just the right time” when I was feeling doubtful, alone, or uncertain. Hawk would perch watchfully in a tree for me to hear patience. And don’t forget trust. Hawk would identify its meal, soar down and strike letting me know go for the opportunity in front of you without fear and with confidence.
When thoughts were starting to churn in my mind, Hawk would call out its voice, quiet the chatter, listen, and you will hear the clarity you need. Sometimes Hawk would add soar, spread your wings as it flew circles around me. When I danced between my intuition and my willfulness, Hawk would suddenly appear, slow down and see and see again. Don’t forget trust the path ahead you can’t see.
Always at that right moment and for the moments coming I couldn’t – and can’t yet – see. For Hawk is still very much my messenger, protector, and guide through life’s mysterious design. Always in every message is you are supported and ask me. For Hawk really likes it when I ask for an appearance at just the “right moment.” Not too different from us humans who feel valued when someone asks us for assistance, too. (smile)
On March 30th, I rushed outside to find this winged friend waiting for me. My heart told me even if I wasn’t holding one, the markings sure spoke Hawk and that I needed to be with the awe of this experience. A deeper integration was occurring. (A dear friend and bird photographer extraordinaire told me she believes I held a juvenile Cooper Hawk.)
At a certain moment I asked this little one if it was ready to fly. Instead of departing, it stayed, its feet gripping my finger, looking intently into my eye as it whispered when the time is right. Don’t seek the meaning. Be present, now, experiencing. In letting go of the will to know, you will discover what knowing you need.
It remains a mystery, this moment March 30th, but experience has taught me that if I surrender my will, I will discover and receive what I need when I need it.
I will close with this. Yesterday I was reflecting on the next Blueprint message. I was dancing with doubt and passion. I write not for a “look at me”, but because I have discovered this sometimes harsh, often scary, frequently uncertain life is so incredibly beautiful and joyous and easier, yes easier, to navigate when we do let go to willingness to see, hear, and experience it as incredibly beautiful and joyous. My passion yearns to inspire others to discover the same. Doubt enters when I think don’t preach; show, don’t tell. I want to offer you blueprints so you can…rush out and feel the joy of a bird in your hand. (smile)
In my dance yesterday, Hawk called nearby write from the voice of your heart.
I hold the intention you can hear it in the way that YOU need.
Namaste’
