Dear readers, hello!

As I started to write to you, I found myself pausing with my memories, curious if I can recall my grandparents beginning a conversation after not seeing them for a bit with an exclamation about the passage of time. (smile)  

How did we get to July already! (smile, ha!)

New life is blessing our views lately.

We have a family of turkeys that decided our front and back yards are perfect locations to teach their babes how to scratch the Earth and feast on bugs they forage.

There has been a twin fawn sighting at our pond.

As a momma and her fawn rush across our front yard, I am convinced it is because momma knows there is a certain German Shorthair Pointer living in her neighborhood and said momma does not appreciate said GSP’s curious George heart!

Kutana (GSP) is also our deer whisperer. She will sit at the window or in the yard and watch the deer with such reverence. Later in summer and early Fall, the deer don’t mind her presence. In a language only both species of the natural world understand, they communicate honor and respect for each other’s differences while they also understand their kinship as nature’s children.

In late Spring and early summer when deer mommas have birthed their spotted babies, they draw their boundaries with Kutana! Kutana is so joyfully curious, and she also embodies “let’s play and be friends,” especially to an animal about her height.

Last year we had a fawn grace our yard and in a brief moment’s flash, Kutana, and the fawn booped noses.  Kutana is also one not to forget. Anything! Show her once, and it’s engraved in her mind.

So, when one is joyfully curious, a memory engraver about nose boops, embodies “let’s play, especially if you are my height”, and “I whisper to you, so certainly that means we are buddies”, oh, and also has a nose that is incredibly powerful, it is very hard when her nose leads her to a fawn and momma says “NOT YET” and chases Kutana away.  

Kutana puts on her wisdom hat, stops searching for playmates, and waits for the time she knows will come when she will be able to sit in the yard watching deer graze. When time will have healed fear born from a momma’s diligent protective watch over her new life, and a certain GSP and the deer will whisper to each other again, communicating honor and respect, while they understand their kindship.

Namaste’

-Christine

The Creases Now Speak

Laura

Laura didn’t expect her father’s tears. She wasn’t sure what she believed would happen seeing her dad after so many years. She certainly didn’t imagine his first words would be “I am so sorry.”   She also didn’t expect to touch him, to let him put his arms around her, to cry with him as they both let the pain start to dissolve, the wall between them crumble.

After what felt like seconds and forever at the same time, Laura went to get Abby so that she could introduce her wife to her dad. Laura bit down on her lip to make sure she was in fact awake when she heard her father welcome Abby to the family and thank Abby for taking such good care of his daughter.

Later, as Laura and Abby were driving home, Laura told her wife she was conflicted between feeling that she shouldn’t have forgiven her dad so quickly and the lightness she now felt no longer in defense of who she is.  And who she loves.

Abby’s response, true to her pure heart nature, was that life is not meant to be lived in should and should nots; that it was about being present with what feels right, now, as the moments take place. Then Abby spoke candidly. “Your dad is dying Laura. Both of you missed out on several years. You only have a few months, or maybe even just a few weeks before you can no longer touch your dad and feel his arms around you. I think it was a good thing you didn’t hold on to your fierce determination that some kind of justice be served. Your mom was right in what she wrote to you, to all of you, to us.

Please let go of the judgment as I have also asked your father to let go of the pain.

It is ok to let the walls crumble now and let love pour in.

“Laura, I didn’t get to say goodbye to my father before he died. For most of my life I’ve never been able to reach out to my father to touch him, to feel his arms around me.”

Laura’s eyes filled with tears. Guilt. Regret. A longing to be able to take that pain away from Abby.

“Sometimes there is no justice to seek Laura. Like when my dad died. The only justice was the choices I would make in how I wanted to experience life. A life of kindness, happiness, love. Or sadness, regret, and yearning. Don’t look back Laura. Neither of you were ready before now to let the wall crumble. What justness do you want with the remaining time you have left with your father?”

Later that evening, Laura texted Josh that she had visited grandpa and that he met Abby. Josh texted her back, “Aunt L! WOAH! How did it go?!!!”  When Laura responded, “better than expected, really good actually, he welcomed Abby into the family,” Josh texted back. “Think he is ready to meet Kaylen?” 

“Yes. J, I think you need to tell grandpa before it’s too late.”

“How much longer do you think we have Aunt L? Before grandpa dies?” 

“I don’t know. A few weeks, maybe.”

“I’ll talk to Kaylen.”

“I can go with you if you want, when you tell grandpa.”

“Thanks Aunt L. I think Kaylen and I need to do this on our own. Hey Aunt L. Do you think we still need to find the woman who wrote the letter?” 

“I think we might want to look for someone else first. I’ll fill you in this weekend at dinner. Xoxo” 

Laura wondered where to even begin to find Aunt Lorraine. Then again, social media and Google were mine fields.